How to be popular in school

Hi I'm Donna Barnes I'm a life and dating coach and owner of NY Dating Coach here in New York City. In this clip we'll talk about how to be popular in school. Well yeah everybody wants to be popular but first let me say that being popular isn't the most important thing. But being a good person is what's most important. And it's usually the really good people that are the most popular. So be nice to everybody. Say hello to people even if you don't know them. Smile and be friendly, don't try to show off, don't try to act tough. You know the tough girls might be popular some time but you know that's not necessarily the way to go about doing that so. Just be yourself. Being yourself is the most warming and genuine thing to other people. So don't put too much attention on yourself. If you put yourself more out on what other people are thinking and other people, not worried about what people are thinking but if you get all too in your head and you are too worried about how you are acting then you are going to act unnatural. But if you really just put yourself in the moment and be aware of what's going on people will like you. This is Donna Barnes from New York City.

Be The Woman Men Adore, His Dream Girl

How to be His Dream Girl

A dream girl is the kind of woman men adore. She inspires a man to want to be with her, spend time with her, respect her, possibly take her to forever. She does this with a feminine grace that is hard for a man to resist. She is fun, playful, has boundaries and does not badger or nag to get what she needs out of a relationship. She knows her value. She doesn't settle for men who treat her badly or keep her guessing. This is the woman men adore!

Many think that I am talking about playing games here when I talk about being his dream girl. It's not a game. It boils down to being true to self. It's about putting your own heart first because when you do this, you show him how to treat you. Also when you treat yourself well, he knows you will most likely treat him well too!

How do you become this kind of woman? What is it that men really want from women and what is it about one woman that has him pining away while he hardly notices other women? What makes one a woman men adore and never want to leave? How do you get this kind of feminine grace that draws men like moths to flames?

What Makes a Man Fall In Love

A man doesn't fall in love with the woman he can live with. A man falls in love with the woman he can't live with out.

If you think it's the things you do that he can't live without, you might want to reconsider. It's not really the nice things you do for for a man that makes a man fall in love. Being good to a man simply isn't the key ingredient. So many women make their mistake here. They give and give hoping it will endear them to the man. They bend over backwards pleasing him. This isn't what makes a man fall in love. This is what makes you a doormat. A woman willing to sacrifice of herself to please another just isn't attractive, she is convenient at the most.

It's the woman that challenges him that men fall in love with. It's the woman who stands up for herself with feminine grace and feminine elegance that wins his heart. The woman that will show him with ease that she will not be a doormat. Men like to make women happy. It makes them feel good and makes them feel valued. Men fall in love with how you make them feel. If they can make you happy, they feel good. Think Tarzan running through the jungle pounding his chest and you get my drift.

If you are bending over backwards to please him, doing all the giving, you are in a sense depriving him. Learning to receive is so important. A woman that can gracefully receive from her man is a woman that men adore. Things as simple as a compliment for example. When he compliments you, do you deny the compliment or thank him authentically? If he offers to do something for you do you accept or tell him no thank you, I can do that? The natural role of the man really is to give and the woman's is to receive.

It's not the things you do that make a man fall in love with you. It's the way you acknowledge, appreciate and accept the things he does that makes him fall in love with you.

What Makes A Man Want to Marry a Woman

Are you the perfect girlfriend. Do you do everything in your power to please him and gain his affection? You want to make his life easy because you love him. You may cook for him, clean, and do everything you can to please him and make him happy. Did it occur to you that this is why you don't have the ring yet? Don't get me wrong, I am not saying to not do anything for your man. If he is making you a priority in his life, by all means cook him a meal. It's the women that do all of this before they have any sort of commitment at all that shoot themselves in the foot. They over give and this comes off as the pick me pick me mentality. Doing and giving too much is not what makes a man commit and is not what makes a man marry you.

Men want to be needed. Over giving doesn't really convey this needed feeling to him. I am cohabiting with my guy now and he is talking marriage. I don't bend over to please him and I allow him opportunities to please me. Example, if I don't feel like cooking, I tell him "I don't feel like planning dinner, could you decide tonight?" He takes care of it for me and I tell him how much I appreciate it, even if it's Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Funny thing is, a lot of women use this approach to catch a husband. They are the nice girl that puts everyone else's needs before her own. She would put her man's need before her own any day because she loves him so much. It's the woman who loves herself first that men adore. They respect a woman who will not compromise her own values and life for that of a man. A man's respect is the glue that holds it together. Earn his respect and you will win his heart. It's a key to whether he will ever marry you.

If you are his doormat, he will see you as a doormat to others as well. Men want a woman who can hold her own and stand up. If you are a doormat to him, what will you be to his children, his family, friends that cross your boundaries. Will you over compromise to please them or will you stand your ground? This is important to a man when choosing a wife.

The women men marry are usually the ones that don't work overtime to catch a husband. They are strong, spirited women who stand up for themselves. She won't compromise herself. This makes a man classify her as a woman with a mind of her own that he can't walk all over like linoleum. This is the woman that a man will marry.

Are You A Dream Girl Or a Yes Girl

Have you seen the older movie Runaway Bride. Remember she didn't even know how she liked her eggs. She had been conforming for so long to what she thought the men would like that she herself didn't know anymore what she liked. This is a yes woman. A dream girl knows what she likes and isn't scared to voice it. Men find this quality very sexy by the way.

A yes woman often operates out of fear. Fear that she will some how lose her man if she doesn't work to please him. A yes woman often puts her friends on hold for her man. I know you know or have been this woman. The woman who stops going out with her friends and devotes all of her time to her new man in her life. She frees up her schedule to accommodate him. She tells her friend she can go out with them if her man doesn't call or has to work or something.

A dream girl won't do this. She maintains her life and doesn't put it on hold for a man. She can involve him, but not at the expense of her own life. She doesn't sacrifice her life for the sake of a man. The man is an addition to her life, not the center of her universe.

Yes women often spend a lot of time doing things for their men. In the meantime, rarely is it returned. This causes a cycle. She does even more to earn his affection, and he returns it even less and the resentment starts to set into her heart. She then voices how she does so much and he does little. He then feels like he isn't making her happy and the relationship starts to spiral down hill.

If you are going out of your way to please a man, you are fast becoming his yes girl. If you are doing household chores, running errands for him, you are setting him up to take you for granted. This is not a dream girl. Dream girls often have the men running errands for them instead. A dream girl inspires the man to please her and understands that to be able to please her is most of what is needed to please him. Men love to make their women happy. Making his woman happy is what makes a man feel like a man. Why on earth would you want to upset this balance and focus on pleasing him?

A Key To Being Irresistible to Men

What is the key to being irresistible to men? I recently spoke with a man about his courtship with a woman he absolutely adored. I asked him what was it about her. His reply? "I could not resist her resistance". If you want to know how to be irresistible, there is your answer. Offer up some resistance.

Men want to win. They want to win the heart of the woman. If it comes too easily, this is when he loses interest and often pulls away. This is why it's so important to resist him. It makes you hard to get. This is not a game. Your heart shouldn't be easy to get in the first place. It's valuable and you shouldn't just give it away to a man who hasn't put in the effort. You are the prize.

Resistance means not jumping through hoops every time he calls. It means if you have plans with the girls, you keep them and don't ditch them because you want to see him. Resistance means if he invites you to go somewhere that you aren't that crazy about, you aren't going simply to please him. You decline offers if they don't really suit you. I don't like sports. I can't help it, I just don't. A guy could have tickets to the Super Bowl and I would turn him down. I am not going along just to be in his presence.

The fact of the matter is men fall in love in your absence, not your presence. This is when they think about you. When they think about you their imaginations fill in the gaps. Usually with positive things. If you are always there jumping to be with him when ever humanly possible, he doesn't have time to think about you. If you offer no resistance, you offer no challenge. Men love a challenge. They simply can't resist it.

Men also like mystery. A woman that jumps right into a relationship with her heart is no mystery. She is an open book. Resistance actually builds up attraction in a man. It is the key to being irresistible to men. Resistance also show self control. A woman with control of herself and her life is very very attractive to men and is hard to resist. He will put in effort to be a part of her world. He becomes challenged to get her attention because she won't just settle. If she chooses him, he feels very special.

Empathy - The Key to a Good Relationship

The ability for couples to be able to empathize with one another is so very important. If we can't step into one another's shoes or see our loved one's point of view, we will not be able to communicate in a growing manner.

As a relationship author, many of my friends come to me with their issues. Recently my girlfriend Jeanie told me her boyfriend Mike, became distant after they had a conversation. In that conversation, she asked him one question. She thought it was harmless. It really was. She asked "did he drink every single day". She had noticed he had a few beers when she was over at his house.

His side of the story. He took her question as a warning flag. He thought this was a sign she would be dictating his habits and telling him what to do in the future. In other words, that fear that she was going to try to change him.

Now let's go deeper into the couples history. Mike was married to a very controlling woman. He was allowed one 12 pack of beer per week. Of course he could drink more, but the consequences were high. She would nag, pout and make him miserable. To keep the peace, he kept with the one 12 pack of beer per week, though he is far from alcoholic. Note here also that he would sneak around to drink behind her back if the opportunity presented itself.

Now let's look an Jeanie's back story. She was married to an alcoholic and an abuser for many many years. She had learned to associate alcohol with unhappiness, though she liked to enjoy a few beers herself, she usually did this in the company of girlfriends.

So you see both partners were fearful because of what happened last time. If they can just step into the shoes of the other and understand where all of this is coming from, the problem can be solved.

Empathy is a foundation for communication in a relationship. It opens the doors to truly understanding your partner.

Why Won't He Commit

When it comes to commitment, men can be a mystery. Perhaps you have heard the words "I am just not ready". Men are human just like women. They do want a special woman they can spend their time with and its not that they don't want to commit. Often its just they have not found that special woman to commit to. The woman that makes him feel alive. The woman that can awaken the hunter instinct and challenge him. The woman that gets him.

Have you ever heard a man say "Its not you, its me"? He may be saying that but what he really means is "Its not me, its you". Chances are good that when it comes to commitment, the problem is you. Now I know that's a tough pill to swallow. You may feel you do everything right and you are an awesome girlfriend. You probably are an awesome girlfriend but that is not necessarily what triggers those deeper feelings in a man. The things you are doing to be an great girlfriend could very well be the things that keep him from committing.

Many women try hard to please a man. Perhaps you offer to help him out. Maybe you cook for him, buy him gifts, do his laundry, try to make his life easier. Maybe the more you do, the less he may seem to appreciate it. The bottom line here is if he wanted a cook and a maid, don't you think he should just go home to his mother? When he thinks of you, do you really want him envisioning you cooking, cleaning and being domesticated? No way! You want him to think of the exiting and sometimes unpredictable woman that you are. He is not going to commit to a woman who acts like his mother, face it. The domesticated activities should come long after you already have the commitment and not a day before.

The number one thing that will stop a man dead in his tracts on his road to commitment is if you attempt to convince him that you are the one for him. Often times a great relationship is extinguished far before it should be by a woman opening her mouth and voicing her feelings on the subject. This is not to say that you should not speak your feelings because you do have to be true to yourself. Its just that men don't want to hear how they should make a commitment. They want to reach this conclusion on their own and in their time. If you are talking about your future and your plans together he is going to run for the hills. Speak less about this issue with a man and you will get you more.

There are things you can do to change his thinking. Its not that you have to change the way you feel, you just have to change the way you react to him and alter your patterns a bit. Don't be so available every time he calls. If he usually calls at a certain time, say 7 or so be doing something. I have often answered the phone with "Hey, can I call you back later? I am at happy hour with the girls". A overnight trip with your girlfriends will do wonders. If he sends you a text I know you are dying to reply, but wait, try to make it an hour. He will spend that hour wondering what you are doing if you usually hit him back immediately. These are small things you can do that can make a big difference.